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The Peacemaker Parent


Solving Problems for Today, Teaching Independence for a Lifetime

When I was sent The Peacemaker Parent, I was very excited to read it.  As soon as school started, our mornings became chaos.  I felt like as soon as my 1st grader woke up the nagging began; "Davis get dressed.  Davis brush your teeth.  Davis I told you to get dressed.  Davis, get your shoes on.  Davis you have a few minutes to eat breakfast.  Davis get in the car.  Davis get in the car.  DAVIS GET IN THE CAR!."  Not a very peaceful start to the day!

Lorraine Esposito, author of The Peacemaker Parent, has an approach that empowers your kids to be independent problem solvers and helps create a peaceful start to the day, which will lead to a better rest of the day for everyone.  Children wake up to a daily calendar page that lets them know their chores/tasks for the morning.  She uses timers to keep your child on task.  The great thing about the timer is that they replace your voice so you aren't nagging anymore.  Your child is accountable for what needs to be done.

Lorraine has made the approach easy to follow in her book and guides you through the process of getting to the peaceful morning.  It doesn't happen over night,  but through a series of steps you can get to that place you want to be with your children and have that relationship with them that you deserve.  For more information on the book and Lorraine, go to:  www.PeacemakerParent.com  

After reading the book I asked Lorraine some questions.

What inspired you to write the book?

I was inspired to write this book because I wanted to share with the world the secret to happiness. As background, I was given a very challenging first son and spent eight years trying to understand him and help him find his fit in the world. I wasted so much time, energy, worry, money, etc., because I expected someone else to solve my problems. Countless hours were spent talking to professionals (good advice givers) or reading his or her book. The time and money bought me a great education and tons of great advice but it didn’t deliver what I thought I was buying—what the advertising told me to expect—a solution. When I finally trusted my intuition and started thinking for myself, I realized how simple the solution was. After verifying the validity and applicability of this approach with professionals, I vowed to do what I could to make sure no other parent slogs along this dead end path ever again.   But even more importantly, the method I discovered turned into the secret for teaching all kids, challenged or not, how to become independent and responsible people. That is the bigger prize and the one that just might save our planet.

What is your one piece of advice to parents when they are beginning the Peacemaker Program?

There is only one piece of advice for me to give: Trust your instincts! It’s all about leadership and trusting yourself to be the right leader for your children. My program was born from my instincts and intuition. I wasted time trusting the intuition of other people and following the pack to meet social expectations. When I finally allowed my intuition to guide me and stepped up as the leader I needed to be (modeling leadership for my children in the process) I found the solution I needed. There it was, inside me all along. If you’re looking for answers, the answers are inside you right now. Perhaps all you need is the specific how-to steps that give you clarity in your purpose and confidence in your action. I’ve created the Morning Peacemaker Method as the framework for doing just that.

What is a good age to begin and how do you adapt it for non-readers?

The Peacemaker Parent and the Morning Peacemaker are based on simplicity. Any child, for which even a small amount of independence is possible, can begin this journey as early as age two. Readers and non-readers alike are perfect because a picture can be worth a thousand words.

When introducing the program to your kids, do you meet with them individually or can you meet with them all together?

Whether introducing the program or conducting weekly reviews, I recommend everyone come together. The point of this program is to provide the framework for practicing life skills. Cooperation, negotiation, receiving and giving help, etc. are huge life skills that are practiced during each meeting. The only caveat: If it doesn’t work after a good trial period, decide as a group how to modify things for better results.