The Peacemaker Parent
Solving Problems for Today, Teaching
Independence for a Lifetime
When I was sent The Peacemaker
Parent, I was very
excited to read it. As soon as school started, our mornings became chaos. I felt like as soon as my
1st grader woke up the nagging began; "Davis get dressed. Davis brush your teeth. Davis I told you
to get dressed. Davis, get your shoes on. Davis you have a few minutes to eat breakfast. Davis
get in the car. Davis get in the car. DAVIS GET IN THE CAR!." Not a very peaceful start to the
Lorraine Esposito, author of
Parent, has an
approach that empowers your kids to be independent problem solvers and helps create a peaceful start to the day,
which will lead to a better rest of the day for everyone. Children wake up to a daily calendar page that
lets them know their chores/tasks for the morning. She uses timers to keep your child on task. The
great thing about the timer is that they replace your voice so you aren't nagging anymore. Your child is
accountable for what needs to be done.
Lorraine has made the approach easy to
follow in her book and guides you through the process of getting to the peaceful morning. It doesn't happen
over night, but through a series of steps you can get to that place you want to be with your children and
have that relationship with them that you deserve. For more information on the book and Lorraine, go to:
After reading the book I asked Lorraine some
What inspired you to write the
I was inspired to write this book because
I wanted to share with the world the secret to happiness. As background, I was given a very challenging first son
and spent eight years trying to understand him and help him find his fit in the world. I wasted so much time,
energy, worry, money, etc., because I expected someone else to solve my problems. Countless hours were spent
talking to professionals (good advice givers) or reading his or her book. The time and money bought me a great
education and tons of great advice but it didn’t deliver what I thought I was buying—what the advertising told me
to expect—a solution. When I finally trusted my intuition and started thinking for myself, I realized how simple
the solution was. After verifying the validity and applicability of this approach with professionals, I vowed to do
what I could to make sure no other parent slogs along this dead end path ever again. But even more
importantly, the method I discovered turned into the secret for teaching all kids, challenged or not, how to become
independent and responsible people. That is the bigger prize and the one that just might save our
What is your one piece of advice to
parents when they are beginning the Peacemaker Program?
There is only one piece of advice for me
to give: Trust your instincts! It’s all about leadership and trusting yourself to be the right leader for your
children. My program was born from my instincts and intuition. I wasted time trusting the intuition of other people
and following the pack to meet social expectations. When I finally allowed my intuition to guide me and stepped up
as the leader I needed to be (modeling leadership for my children in the process) I found the solution I needed.
There it was, inside me all along. If you’re looking for answers, the answers are inside you right now. Perhaps all
you need is the specific how-to steps that give you clarity in your purpose and confidence in your action. I’ve
created the Morning Peacemaker Method as the framework for doing just that.
What is a good age to begin and how do
you adapt it for non-readers?
The Peacemaker Parent and the Morning
Peacemaker are based on simplicity. Any child, for which even a small amount of independence is possible, can begin
this journey as early as age two. Readers and non-readers alike are perfect because a picture can be worth a
When introducing the program to your
kids, do you meet with them individually or can you meet with them all together?
Whether introducing the program or
conducting weekly reviews, I recommend everyone come together. The point of this program is to provide the
framework for practicing life skills. Cooperation, negotiation, receiving and giving help, etc. are huge life
skills that are practiced during each meeting. The only caveat: If it doesn’t work after a good trial period,
decide as a group how to modify things for better results.