The Peacemaker Parent: Scarsdale
Author and Mom Offers Parenting Tips
The Peacemaker Parent: Scarsdale Author and Mom Offers Parenting Tips
41 Huntington Rd, Scarsdale,
Lorraine Esposito gave a talk on practical
tips for parents to foster confidence and responsibility in children at Greenacres Elementary
By Jaclyn Bruntfield | Email the
April 29, 2010
Scarsdale resident, mother of two, personal trainer, and life coach Lorraine Esposito talked
about helping kids be "accountable and responsible" at Greenacres Elementary this week.
For Lorraine Esposito, author of
The Peacemaker Parent, mornings
have "such a powerful ripple effect on the rest of the day."
Esposito, a Scarsdale resident, life coach, personal trainer, and mother of two, shared tips on
compassionate and powerful parenting at Greenacres Elementary School Tuesday.
She advocates instilling in children "accountability and responsibility," and noted
that these traits are often neglected when parents focus primarily on a child's
Esposito decided to change her own parenting approach when her oldest son was diagnosed with
ADHD. She realized that his often disruptive and sometimes violent behavior was the action that was ultimately
causing his unconscious self to suffer.
Wanting to help her son develop confidence while also finding ways to cope with his
diagnosis, Esposito said that they both needed empowerment, one day at a time.
That's why mornings are so important for the Esposito family. Each of the boys has a
simple list to check off each morning--tasks like making the bed, eating breakfast, and teeth brushing--which most
adults do unconsciously. After about a week using the charts, the boys developed a routine that has become second
"I looked at what I was doing and created tools to do it for me," she
Even though every day isn't perfect, Esposito believes that the checklist gives kids
the opportunity to ask self-evaluating questions from one day to the next. The checklist is something that her kids
can realistically complete, because lengthy sticker charts, which can include outlandish tasks like "clean the
gutters," are the "worst."
Asking lots of questions of oneself and the world at large, is essential to this
process. "Knowing what you're trying to accomplish first and then checking in with your actions will get you where
you want to go," she said.
Esposito believes her technique has helped her oldest over the past few years to
develop the confidence he lost when he had trouble controlling his behavior.
Her hope is to empower parents to do the same for their children, giving them the tools they need
to become responsible and accountable for their actions and ultimately "create a generation of people who can think
This "Morning Peacemaker" technique, "starts out creating a peaceful morning and ends
up creating a peaceful lifetime for the child who learns to face life's challenges with confidence and
"Think of how different the world would be," Esposito said. But its not too late for
those who now face the challenges of adulthood. Change is possible, but she notes that asking questions and taking
responsibility for one's actions takes "courage and support."
A person's success can easily be judged by others based on one's actions, but
success, Esposito said, is ultimately "defined by individuals."
"A luxury car may represent success to the person driving it. However, if she's
driving the car because it's to look like a success, then the problem isn't in the car, it's in the person's definition of
success," she explained.
"If I find that my idea of success is different than
I've spent my lifetime creating, I'll need a truck load of courage and support to do something about