June 30, 2012
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Frustration
Why, Why, How,
Who
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What it
is
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Frustration is caused by unmet
expectations; often the work of an external force blocking you from what you want
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| Why it's
Important |
Three categories
of control:
-
Can Control
-
Can’t Control
-
Influenced
Struggling to control
something that you simply can’t control will frustrate the dickens out of you.
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| The
Problem |
We often don’t stop to
consider whether something frustrating is within our control or just within our circle of
influence.
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The Tip
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Clarify and
Experiment
Obey The Small Step
Rule
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Step
1
Time of Day
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Pick a time of
day that presents the least frustration.
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Step
2
Identify
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Identify 3
slightly frustrating things that happen during this time of
day.
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Step
3
Answer
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Why do I want
this? Sometimes you find that you used to want it, but
don’t anymore. Sometimes you find that you don’t really know why you want
it. How about letting it go?
Why
do I
expect something different? Maybe what you want isn’t
possible given present circumstances.
How
am I
contributing to my frustration? Are you
self-handicapping? Do you lack a skill?
Who
else
contributes? Life isn’t personal and yet it
is. “Stuff” coming from other people isn’t about
you until you react—your reaction is what makes it
personal.
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Step
4
Test
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Pick the
easiest of the Why, Why, How, and Who for your
experiment. Find one small thing that you can do
differently for 2 weeks.
Example:
Feeling slightly rushed in the morning? Experiment by putting your
alarm clock in different locations. Small changes are powerful
because the devil is in the details.
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Step
5
Laugh
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To err is human; to laugh at yourself feels
divine. Frustration is your ever present 2 year old
self stomping her feet. Lighten-up on yourself and use
frustration to broaden your awareness about that which you can and can’t control,
and all the rest that you can (and must) influence
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Benefits!
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Freedom
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Free from
struggling against obstacles. |
| Calm |
Any frustration, even simple
and reasonable frustration, creates feelings of aggression that spread out in all
directions.
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| Peace |
Awareness prevents overwhelm
and panic.
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| Progress |
Choices become
easier.
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| Influence |
Demonstrating how a
leader accepts the responsibility for her own emotions is a powerful and positive influence to
anyone watching—not just your kids. |
Related Articles: Obstacles to
Happiness, A Laugh A
Day, Good Deed Frustration,
Related Tip of the Week: Recognize
Perfection, Able to
Change,
Chime in >> What do you think?
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